How To Stop Fighting in Relationships and Marriage and Still "Win" (For Husbands)

How can husbands stop fighting in a relationship without arguing and still "win"? Watch here.

Easy...by using the "yield to win" method when having an argument or disagreement with your spouse or girlfriend.

In Aikido, this where you use the opposition's strength to your advantage. In psychology, we call this accepting "influence" where you listen and are open to good change for the betterment of the marriage.

What husbands tend to do is respond with negativity 65% of the time compared to their spouse. This actually makes the conflict worst and the marriage suffers. In fact, marriages where husbands escalate versus accept influence increase chances of divorce and discord by 81%.

You can see why too because what couple can handle negative conflict that doesn't get resolved as friends and lovers over time? They can't.

How To Accept Accept Influence & Still "Win"

First, try changing your mindset around WINNING to include teamwork, peace, and adapting quickly.

1) Go into the discussion looking for your wife’s good point versus looking to argue and fight. Chances are that she is making a valid, needed request at least 50% or more of the time. Why not listen first and adapt.

2) Acknowledge her good point verbally (if it is true) to disarm the conflict and bring it to a quick end. Why argue when you can tell her that you feel her and accept a good recommendation, especially if it makes your house happier?

3) Ask what the recipe for resolving the issue is and do it (if it is reasonable) because most men value peace over fighting to win. This helps your wife get right to the point without hours of conflict. If it is a good change for the marriage and doesn't offend you, do it and have peace.

Now this does not mean that a husband yields every time because that is not real and very unhealthy. You need "necessary conflict" at times to honor your own wishes and boundaries. This impasse leads to negotiation and creating a marriage or relationship that works well for you both. However, when you accept influence often your wife is more likely to do the same (leadership) and your marriage can experience more peace than war.

Let me know how these tips work for you!